domingo, 27 de febrero de 2011

Writing and stress- a true story.

I had to do work today. A lot of work. Written work online involving a lot of precise requirements that neccesitated shuffling back and forth between pages online containing info and models of the work to be done and my creation. I was doing it. Inch by tedious inch. I started going NUTSY !  It was building up. I would do a segment go outside, stretch and breath feel all of me longingly looking out at the things out there like trees and clouds and people walking by that did not have to go back in and go back to part 11 of 16 of work to be done to finish the project.

I kept on going.  All of my yearning squelched on down, getting worried about time. Getting worried about editing final product, getting worried about earlier parts that might need a second look, worrying about missing some things, getting worried about where some things were that I needed to look at.  My stomach started hurting.  I wrote a quick fb page. " I would rather be working on my blog!"  Then just by writing that- tickling at my brain was a story and a poem and ticklish thoughts that wanted to be made by me. Things like butterflys that said "I'm beautiful and you can look at me or stay inside all day and miss me". So.... I bolted over to my blog. And it was so much fun! just in about 10 minutes wrote 3 random silly posts. 2 poems and a story.  Just write write write. Just poured out. Then, Am I finished ? No more ticklish butterfly thoughts. ok. finished.  ah.  and I felt  SO..... MUCH.... BETTER. 

And coudl get back to work, and did.  But its so interesting that I couldn't feel better by saying " you're doing it. It's coming together ... etc".  But just a random poking a hole in my in my head
(metaphorically ;)  and letting the steam out just made me all ready again. Like a good nap. recharged, feeling quirky like you do in the last tingling grasp of a dream where you are going " nah.. that would be silly.. " but still smiling inside, a genuine good feeling.  Because you were SOMEWHERE ELSE just now.

( I think the caps in this post are left over from my emotional day). And its definately the process not the product.  I do not care very much about the writings two posts down. I didn't even really want to slow down and re-read the when done.  And don't care to re-read, re- write or re-visit them later.  It just shows there are so many ways to refresh.

and... perhaps more importantly it shows you should not resist the creative impulses that seem to be time wasters or to have no point. They get you somewhere. They give you something.

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