more on the same topic. I think this will be the thread that ties up this year for me. I think it needs to be a daily practice and integral part of my life. I have been a whiner way too long. You know internally... and in funny ways just to gripe and vent. But I want to just not even feel frustration. I want to have a whole different head guiding me. Working harder, feeling thankfulness for what I have, for that work itself even feels like the earth shifting underneath me and rock rising up that I need.
I have a lot going on, and I need to be doing a lot but I also need grace to ease my busyness and stress and fears as I keep on trying to keep up my classes and preparation for teaching- all the tests I have to register for and the stuff I have to get ready for adviser interviews before student teaching. All these things should be simple, but they are not. I have lack of good calendar skills and lack of memory once things are filed leading to clutter. So I kind of flit around wasting my time but always busy. My family just way takes over, I used to balance the two but I just joyfully chuck work now to go be with the kids and do little random things.
So, I need to remind myself. Hey, its a blessing I am at this point. It's great that I have this mass of paperwork and different interviews and requirements that need to get met in December and November. These are important steps. I am not special, there is no way I can duck them. So shoulder it with grace.
I am seriously going to try to look at everything I can in the light of thankfullness. I want a massive change. I like who I am but its like I'm running windows 97....